Revelation? God is wondrous.

I was thinking a strange thought about God (big G), gods (little g) and humans who want to feel the power and control of a god.   I came to this wonderous conclusion about gods and control... And then I came to this crazy conclusion about Jesus and God.  

Little g, gods from mythology have this grand control.  This level of control that humans want and wish to have and bear.  The control over the elements, the control over animals and the ultimate control over life.  To bear the power of a god is to hold life over death and to that end have the ultimate choice.  To bear the power of a god is to bear the control of choice.  

Humans cannot control the system of life that is the realm of God.  He made this earth in 5 days with the last to spring a creation unlike all the others.  A creation in His likeness... A human.  And with this creation he bore a god like quality... Free Will.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks.  The one thing we all seek is to somehow CONTROL our lives and its outcome. And the glorious gift of free will is the greatest loss of any god.  Big g God is the greatest god... He relinquished control and allowed us to choose to leave the sanction of heaven.  God gave the one thing we wish we could have... God gave us the freedom of will and freedom of choice.  God let his creation free to choose a life away from Him.  Then He sacrificed again.  He chose to send Jesus to burden Himself in the choices of a human... God relinquished control yet again.  His only son... And Jesus' greatest choice was to suffer and to free us of our sins.  

So I thought... How wonderous is God?  For God could have held us in his control but never shown is the love of a father.  As such we would never have seen the glory of God.  

God who reigns over all, chose humans to live a life of free will, relinquishing his imposition and control, allowing for you to choose against His will.  

How many humans could say the same? We hold so dearly to control as if we really have it.  We don't have control.  We have choice.  

God loves his creation so much that he gave us the choice to stay or to leave Him.  God sent Jesus to save us from our sins, regardless of our choice to look away.  

God is wonderful. 

We feel pain because of original sin.  We have love waiting to be chosen but we wait for control.  

God released his full control so to allow us to choose life, not to control life.  

Daily Daze - January 3, 2016

Thought of they Day
When it's difficult to rise from the ashes, you must surround yourself by those you love and live for...

Daily Dose
Although I made it to the Dream Pie Pelota Fantasy Football Championship, my team fell flat on its face.  Stitchy Dazed got lost and confused and scored a measly 29 points to Pups N Suds 82 points.  Ugh, too many injuries and too many wins put my team in the position of not to pick up good waiver pickups.  

The rest of the day was filled with resting my finger and my heart.

Daily Daze - January 2, 2016

Thought of the Day
Survival starts with support and love.  I'm forever grateful for having the love of my pup Dakota, who taught me what love and commitment really means.  I'm grateful that my family and friends support me through action, kind words, thoughts and sentiments that I feel sincerely in my soul.  The last couple of weeks of 2015 were mixed with love, joy, stress, sadness and strife.  The truth of my life is that I have more than I can ever ask for or deserve.  This life is a long road and I thank God that I was blessed with His grace and love.




Living, Laughing, Loving and 
Fighting for every opportunity to have all of the above

My Heart and Soul: My Daki Boy

I love you Dakota!

You are my handsome pup and I will love my Daki Boy forever. You gave me the gift of your time the last 2 months sharing our last holiday season.  With long walks and sitting atop the hill overlooking the valley below, you gave me joy and strength.  Thank you for being my strong willed baby boy.  My puppy, you deserve your place in heaven. 

Thank you for always loving me unconditionally. I will miss how when I couldn't find you, you were laying at my feet. I loved how you barked at the beach as a new pup and just wanted attention.  I loved how you would start up the stairs then look back and wait for me. You were always the gentlemen.  You were the meet and greet puppy at the park. You loved the splash of the sprinkler on your face. I will alway love how you greeted me by running under my legs and how I would squeeze you back. I loved that you would dance and leap up into my arms. I will miss how you would sneakily jump up to my bed when you thought I was asleep. I never minded you circling on the bed, laying down and taking up all the space. I loved having you sleep with us… Montana and I love you and will miss your love and warmth. My little red baby boy you chose me when you stayed at my feet the day I chose you from the litter of pups… You stole my heart and you will forever be in my heart and in my mind and in my soul.

What a Mess!

A most infamous end to a crazy 2015... With high and low lights throughout the year, this moment was the most physically painful of 2015.  Well then again... I think the little Norovirus bug I got on Christmas.  Go figure the end of 2015 was in general painful on all levels and in all ways, mental, physical, heart and soul.  This moment, however, is physically stamped into my life.  

Who would have thought taking my pup out to potty, would land me in the ER? 

The basic story goes like this... A simple single choice... I was walking Dakota late at night or more like early early morning.  Since he has been sick, I try to give him as much time outdoors as possible.  When I got back to go in, Montana was at the door.  I had taken her out earlier at our more typical time, so she didn't need to go out again.  And I thought I would just go to bed.  Instead, that guilt led to that fateful decision.  I took her to go potty.  Who would have thought there was anyone out at 1 am in the morning?  Let alone someone else walking their dog?  

Well there was.  Montana was getting fussy at the presence of the other dog and I had her on a retractable leash.  Long finger to shorter... Montana lunged and the ring finger of my free hand got caught in a loop in the rope leash.  The next thing I know was a sharp pain but I didn't expect the GUSH of blood.  It was dark, but I knew this was bad.  So I collected myself and Montana and led her back to the house.  The blood trickled onto the path and in my confusion I left a few ounces on the entrance to the house.  I got my wits about me, put Daki and Tana into their space, tried to call some folks, but at 1:30 am I wasn't getting anyone awake.

So I drove myself to ER.  Fortunately Sharp Memorial ER is close to my house.  

My crazy head saw the parking structure but I had to ask the attendant if they take credit cards.  He said this is where you park for ER, and if you are admitted you wouldn't have to pay.  So I parked and walked in... 

The folks at the desks were cool as they asked "What can we do for you?... there's blood."  I basically said yes that's me.  And I went on to explain this retractable leash pinch of my finger.  I have to say I realize I can stay pretty calm.  I handle public pain with humor.  I mean I don't get mean, I get giddy and goofy over the gruesome.  So they put me in the ob/gyn room?  Yeah, there's no way I would need to be in there, but that's where they put me.  First thing they did was check my bones by taking XRays.  Here's the best example of giddy goofy.  When they asked me to hold my thumb and index finger than spread the rest of my fingers, the tech asked can you do that without pain?  

And I said, "oh yeah I can still throw up the gang signs."  

The nurse was a cool Filipino dude and he checks out my finger... And he says "oooh that's gonna hurt."  I'm thinking "yay something to look forward to... "  Later he mixes up this betadine concoction and says place your hand in there.  I tried and tried... but each time I would breathe rapidly and heavily and say "Are you for real?"  It was like that stuff was pouring down into my open wound, the wound where I could see a little bone!  He pulls the bin away from me, wraps my finger then tells me to dip again.. Ah that's better I can do this.

Well I basically had a 2 hour wait for the hand specialist.  In that time, they weren't gonna give me narcotics unless I confirmed a ride home.  They were worried I would be driving out of there.  So I went to my phone texting everyone I could think of and calling my parents to no avail... I even went on Facebook to see if anyone was online late.  Fortunately, Tos was the first responder.. 

So I waited and almost fell asleep in that betadine solution.  Before I knew it my hand doc came in, and 2 steps behind was Tos.  Perfect timing.  Tos was put to work.  The doc asked her to get a tray.  She just didn't know from where... hahaha 

Well the doc was quick to assess my finger tip issue.  I basically needed a skin graft to cover the big gaping hole in my finger.  The choices?  I could have 2 fingers grafted and attached or I could take it from my butt... I quickly responded.. 

"I'll take the BUTT!"

I really did respond quickly to that option, because I couldn't imagine my fingers stitched down to other parts of my hand.  However, my quick response definitely won some laughter.  Before I knew it they had me on my side, but I couldn't reach over to pull my pants down.  That's when your best friend being by your side is the coolest thing in the world.  Well not coolest thing, but ain't no shame. She helped pull my pants and my hippy cheek was exposed.  

So what's up with the multi-prick attack of my booty... Prick 1, 2, 3, 4...  I lost count.  Numbing the area for the graft and I proceeded to watch as the scalpel broke the skin.  Morbid curiosity... yes.  Strangely I probably could have gone into medicine of some sort, but I don't like poop and vomit... Ugh... That's why I think the Norovirus problem a week ago was way worse than this ER visit.

Well... next was pricks to my finger and that long needle definitely left a bit more pain.  That's when my Tos hooked up the high five hand hold with synchronized screeching... We had to explain to the nurse that we're kung fu ninja friends and our ninja-ness was gonna get us through this... 

Everyone was sharing stories over the surgery... the other nurse didn't like nail problems, the doc was commenting on how some people don't want to think.  It was cool.  I watched him put my butt on my finger and stitch it up.  Butterfinger... yes... 

In the end... I survived that craziness.  Thanks to Tos for keeping me company.  Grateful to have a late night workaholic best friend.  The stories and the pictures will be forever imprinted in my left ring finger tip.

Rambling Thought: Under the Shade of A Tree

I just want to lay under the shade of a tree and  talk about life with you.  I want to share a story and hear all of yours.  I want to watch your eyes and your body shift as you remember and reminisce.  I want to know how you felt in those moments or more truthfully what feelings were left to linger from those moments…

I want to know who you were, because I have come to know who you are… And the merge of the two impose that I wish upon a star so I could be a part of your future. 

I want the moments you remember with me to be full of laughter and joy… Immersed in the moment … Vividly revealed because we shared the same space.  I want to help you through your pain and I want to lean on you when I feel the same…

I want to know more about you because it feels like the richest I will ever be… To unlock the treasure trove of the mystery of who you are to me.  I want to sit still at times and be silly in others.  I want to learn from you, about you and with you…

I want to see the world through your eyes so I can understand my own.  I want to grow because of your perspective which I respect the most. 

I want to be the best of me, not to impress you but to let you know who I want to be… For when I fail, I want you to help me see… I want the reflection of me to be in you…

So hard to live this life but I want to know that someone understands and can stand with me… Not just to prop me up but to knock me down and pull me up again. 

In my imperfection… I hope you could love because you loved me when I thought I wasn't enough. 

The more I know you the more I want to know…fascination … I want to challenge you and I want to meet the challenges you pose to me…

I want to look up and see you smiling at me… Because you respect my thoughts… And how I am… I want you to want to be my friend and find joy in my funny ways…

I need someone to appreciate the way I look at the world because it's so lonely to think I'm alone in these thoughts… I need you to appreciate my simplified view on life because that is where there exists the most joy… I want you to know the depth of my thinking is the finding of simplicity… I want you to enjoy that journey to discovering the true meaning of life…

The meaning in my life is found in your smile, in your laughter, in the sparkle of your eye, in the way you react and interact with me… The meaning in my life is in that perfect moment of connection… When the world has nothing more to offer two people but the moment… The meaning of life is that moment of being where all the supposition and imposition are gone and it is two souls at peace and acceptance of one another…   For in those moments you can see God's grace… You can see God's face…

Daily Daze - October 21, 2015

Thought of the Day

Heart, Diamonds, Clubs, Spades ... If it's in the cards then it is meant to be.  So you play the hand that your dealt.  If you just calculate the odds away, you never get in the game.   You miss opportunity because you get caught up in a future that was never founded in a present. So everything passes.  You don't play the game, you may not lose but you definitely will never win.  

Life and love is a gamble.  The odds bode well if you at least know what cards your willing to go all in with or which ones you need to fold.  Would you really double down with a person who hasn't already got you in aces?  

So hearts before diamonds... Clubs before spades...

Why the heck did this come up?  It amazes me how many people believe you have control of this life.  The dollars don't make sense in matters of the heart.  The means don't make the ends when you don't have passion and purpose.  

There is no doubt that compatibility is a critical component for a long lasting relationship. Love can't conquer all, but love is the foundation upon which you can build a relationship that can conquer all.  There is no doubt that we feel compelled to feel secure in our decisions.  

So in lies the conversation...a crazy fun conversation that throws everyone for a loop but really it's just a roller coaster ride of what ifs!

Bottom line:  to thine own self be true... Stop perpetuating a portrait of falsehood to hide a real human being... 

Do you wanna get married?

Do you want to have kids?

The irony to these questions is ... Do you fear commitment?  Do you fear failure?  Do you fear success?

Heck those marriage and babies questions irrleevant when there is no who!  it is a moot point to answer.

So here are a set of real questions... Do you trust in your own self to be open to love someone?  Do you know who you want to be with?  Do you know what you want in a partnership?  Do you know what you want of your friends?  Do you know what family is?  Do you know what kind of family you want to have?  

When you have those answers then you are set on a path... But even when you find the matches... There may not be a fire... It takes a spark... It takes that moment when your head tilts and you say "roh oh"... And when you find that person... You'll imagine what sacrifice is and would still be willing to endure...  When you find the one you see hardship and feel empowered to work through it.  When you find the one, you feel invincible... Not debilitated... 

Who would you go out on the limb for?  Who has made you want to go out of your way for? Who makes you go that extra mile for?  Who makes you smile because ya get to see them?  Who makes you sing when you can't hold a note?  Who makes ya feel a power beyond what money can ever buy?  

Doesn't happen often ... And the timing might be off... But people inspire ... And if you're lucky enough for that mutual

Inspiration and admiration... That's priceless!

Kid Again!

Visiting Murrieta means playtime!  Yay for kids.  This time around Moe came along and Lani hung out with us.  Played football, soccer.  We played with some neighborhood kids... made friends at the park... Great day to be a kid!

Kickin' the Dust Up with Luke Bryan

Thanks for an awesomely fun concert!
Another great evening with very cool people and very cool country music!  Thanks to Courtney for the invite and the ride, thanks to Amanda for hooking up the parking and the lawn entertainment (see below), thanks to Kayla for buying and holding the tickets and for luring the one dude over who was trying to hook up with you... that was hilarious... thanks to Lindsey for insisting on bringing the blanket.






Play It Again!
Yes, I like country on occasion.  I have to say I didn't really know Luke Bryan's songs about a month ago.  So one Courtney invite later, Luke has a new fan.  I picked up what his concert playlist and "Play(ed) it again" and again and again.  I have to say the music is fun and I love the words of all the songs.  There's definitely a lot of drinking involved, in the songs that is.  So who would've thought I was going country for a night... Not me... I'm hip hop, R&B.  However, I have to say when I saw Luke do the Smule duet with Jason Derulo, I figured he would be cool...

Head's up! game in the parking lot.  To pass the time and in between people watching, mostly watching to pee up the hill... We played "head's up"... Apparently we're only good at "Acting Out"...


Culture Shock
I think the most hilarious part of the night for me... CULTURE SHOCK!  So my friends were talking about what they would be wearing for the concert earlier that week... And I kept hearing BOOTS and FLANNELS.  I understood the boots completely... but the flannel thing...  From where I grew up, people who wore flannel were in gangs hahahah.  Seriously... and they would button only the 1st button with a wife beater underneath.  So the flannel thing was a bit perplexing... Boots, cut-off jeans, and sleeveless flannels heck any flannels... Yeah... so when we were driving into the parking lot... My head did a bit of a tilt... and I realized what country is... I mean I've gone line dancing before and I've seen cowboy hats... and I've seen people on occasion dress country... but... I was a bit wow'ed by it all... I think the only thing that I was trippin' out on were the cut-off jeans and boots on this one dude...  I mean he can wear whatever he wants... but I think that look looks way cuter on girls... hahaha

The Lawn and GUARDIN' show
So the "not sure what the name of it is anymore" Amphitheater is a cool little venue and Amanda hooked up the right parking lot for quick in-n-out privileges.  However, this lawn concept is pretty entertaining.  I've been to many a show, but I've always had a seat.  So this whole lawn thing was interesting.  Good thing Lindsey brought the blanket and good thing the blanket was a light color.  We used it to stake out space... For the opening acts (Dustin and Randy, they were great by the way), it was manageable.. We would stand, the blanket would be there behind us... The closer and closer to Luke time... all of a sudden the blanket was curling and people were nudging us away from it.  By the time Randy Hauser was finished, it was pretty much rolled up but we managed to get some sitting time before Luke.  The most entertaining part was watching Amanda protect her space with her legs outstretched... And the under-the-breath, Yoda like subliminal conversations she was having with people encroaching on our space.  She became a compass for all the people looking for their friends.  They would all stop at her boots and use their phone.  She would proceed to use her barely audible (in a concert setting) voice to shoo them away... And it worked.  However, a group of girls streamed into space, hurdling Amanda's legs while Court took a picture.  And all I could think... they're gonna trip on Amanda... So for a good 15 minutes laying on the lawn, Amanda was guardin'.

The COUNTRY
Awesome awesome entertainer... 1st off Luke was battling a cold and he was strugglin' at times, but still pulled off a great show.  You gotta give him props because in the state he was in.. he still sounded excellent.  And that white boy can move... His music makes you wanna move... and he does move well.. Mad props!  His setlist was fun.. and I totally appreciated his hip hop/r&b references... Gotta love how music connects people.  I loved all the songs, because I studied his set list.  At least I could sing along... Dustin and Randy came out and sang Sugar with Luke.  That was fun!


In-N-Out
Post concert, we bolted out of the venue and the parking lot.  Headed out to in-n-out and was a bit tripped up that I just had in-n-out just the day before.  The time warp of anticipation and a concert definitely throws off all semblance of what a day is... Seriously it felt like a Saturday concert...

Drunk on You!
So yes... I'm a new fan.. So I had to learn at least one of his songs on the guitar..

Daily Daze - October 15, 2015

Thought of the Day
Coincidence or Fate... Does it really matter what brings us to this moment?  The truth lies not in the event, but what drives us through the moment at hand.  A choice based in love vs. that based in fear.  A choice to commit to a thought... A choice to laze away the day.  Are we fated?  Are we destined?  Are we doomed?  Or does free will, in accordance with the gift or curse, need or want?  Free will.. one would assume is a blessing.  The idea that we are in control, to choose and somehow believe that the outcome was based on a singular gesture.   Or was it a interwoven, composition, of spider created webs and labyrinth like puzzles upon which we move about, but only realize the fate and destiny has been defined.  We are moved to a simple moment... engage and exchange... then move on with a lasting impression or a fleeting thought.    Are we pulled, are we prodded, or does circumstance form from chaotic randomness?  A part of the equation is gravity...

GRAVITY... The nature of gravity is fascinating.  A mass imposing on another mass a force too powerful for either to overcome.  The imposition of gravity,  a law of attraction... the draw of souls, minds, hearts...  We are all drawn together to make sense of this world.

I love Sara Bareilles' Gravity... "Set me free, leave me be... I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity... "

Daily Dose
I had a day of simply cool moments.  I can only hope everyone can stop and appreciate the conversations that have meaning in your world.  The day started with wanting to eat eggs... brought me to Egg McMuffin, Ms. Pac Man and the opportunity to observe a newbie work the joystick.  At super speed.. Ms Pac is tough, so watching that anxiety rise was pure entertainment for me.  A quick jaunt to a caffeine haven and some SERIAL conversation started the afternoon, matched with some zen, relaxation conversation methods... led its way to a helping hand moment, trying to ease the burden of chaos with a dose of reality and necessity.  Football trades and a quick quiz later.. CUB SOCS DC...  Heading to workout - ville.. In workout - ville, legs, arms and abs take a beating, but negotiations and lost weight ensue...  Hitting a 6 pound loss over working out and eating more consciously were totally key...  Before you know it though, the HANGRY kicked in and found my way to in-n-out... where fun conversations with the least likely of "run into" folks ensued...

The details of the conversations are MOOT...  The beauty of the conversations was the GIFT.

Living life...  Laughing life... Learning life... Loving Life... Fighting for Life

To all those who conversed with me today... THANK YOU...  Through terse or in-depth, through heated or benign, through passionate and indifferent...  The exchange, not only of words, but of gestures and emotion...  The roller coaster of life is based on the relationships bestowed upon us.

Daily Daze - October 14, 2015

Thought of the Day
You live your life in the present, hope for a brighter tomorrow, but sometimes you just have to admire the footprints you've left behind. There's already something wonderful about JUST BEING YOU!  When you're real, that truth does set you free.  You are your optimal self when you let your soul shine.  However, sometimes you misplace that shine.  Today, so many folks reminded me of my shine!  So thanks... it was full of joy, laughter and gratitude!

There were some cool conversations which made me realize that I'm actually living this life, and setting the tone for who I want to be...

1.  A Gift or two!

This week I was blessed with kid art!  In both cases, totally unwarranted and from a distance.  It's kinda surreal to think that just by being cool to a kid and treating them like a real person and respecting them and their space, you get to be remembered.  I'm a big kid, so all I want to do is play.  And I'm so blessed to be around some of the coolest kids on the planet!  So when they show gratitude in their beautiful little ways, you gotta be like ... "damn I must be doing something right."  All I ever do is treat kids like how I would treat my friends.  You gotta give people time to acclimate to you, so you're approachable and interesting.  You gotta give people space, so they don't feel suffocated by your affection.  You gotta give people that room to be and grow.  And you gotta help them to learn and open up to learning from them. I know for a fact I learn more from kids than I will ever learn from adults.  Kids see the world in simple, fascinating ways.  I love analysis... All analysis really boils down to is being a little kid looking at the world as if you never knew the world!  Kids have the best and most honest view of the world... We grow into seeing through dirty spectacles, but KID EYES are CLEAR... So of course I'm gonna cherish their little brains and eyes... I wish I could just be a kid for life!

2.  Where did that SPICE come from?

Had a totally fun time hanging with friends, eating Indian buffet!  There's something hugely entertaining about partitioning your plate with the variety of sauced up meat and veggies, only to eat one thing, have your mouth be so SPICED up that you can recall which thing you thought you ate that made it spicy... AND YOU STILL EAT UP THE WHOLE THING!  Thank goodness for the cream of mushroom...   So the gift of SPICING UP YOUR LIFE, doesn't come up in just what you eat.  It's in the INNUENDO of speech!  hahaha "Riding Sticks", "Mischief Management" and "Pacific Beach in East Los".  I'm telling you now... WORDS MEAN SOMETHING... but sometimes WORDS MEAN MORE!!! So our spice world was filled with fun conversations.  And on the ride home... See some WORDS on a TATOOED MAN!

3.  Virtually Real Conversations
I had a great conversation with a friend about Virtual Reality and how we can be so consumed in the escapism of a virtual happiness, that we would forego living this existence.  I know escape and entertainment and I would love to play the day away.  However, I've come to understand something about this life, you have to CHOOSE TO LIVE IT.  Otherwise, it lives you and you don't see the gifts.  My friend posed the question if you could live a happier virtual existence, wouldn't you want to live it instead of live your life.  I thought about it.  Just like any ADDICTION that keeps you in a never ending EUPHORIA, it will lead to an untimely demise.  You have to wonder.  If you believe in the SOUL and that this body, mind and heart is the vessel we are constrained to use to fulfill this life, then you really couldn't be sated by the virtual reality.  However, if you don't have a soul, and you are biding time with this body, mind and heart... Then you may as well succumb to that false reality, but at that point why continue to be alive?  A good conversation which served up few answers and delivered ever more questions, which may never be answered.  However, the BEST PART of the conversation... WAS THE CONVERSATION.  We weren't engaged with our mobile devices... We were engaged in a conversation... The GIFT of GAB...

4.  Bucket Lists
It's not about having a bucket or a list... It's about approaching the world and saying "HEY WORLD, THIS IS WHAT I WANT!"  and maybe, just maybe speaking aloud what you truly want of this world will be returned ten-fold.

5.  Talking to Yourself
Do it, but don't be rude.  We all have our inner mind... We all have our multi-level thinking methods.  We manage conversations outwardly and inwardly.  So be "WARD-LY"... and WORLDLY.  Don't auto-google the answer... Think and talk it out with yourself.  Break down a problem, see it's points of truth, create and find the patterns.  The last thing you ever want to do is depend on a friggin' "WE ARE ONE, BORG BRAIN" - COLLECTIVE... ahem the world wide web... and BELIEVE THAT IS THINKING!  We aren't BEES!  We aren't the BORG!  We aren't PACKS of WOLVES.  There is no WE in I... hahaha At the same time, I CAN'T DO IT ALONE...

So talk to yourself...then talk to others.  Engage yourself... Engage with others...

Note to self... VIRTUAL means "NOT QUITE" ...

So I choose QUITE a LIFE, not a VIRTUAL one... With all this living, there comes JOY and PAIN (pump it up pump it up)... QUIZ if you got this far who sang that song?  But hey... I believe in a soul, I believe I'm a newbie soul... and I believe I have this vessel to navigate the murky waters of life looking for the natural spring.  For when you get closer to that source, the debris will subside and the waters will clear... You'll know why you WERE HERE.

Movie: San Andreas

It's just fun!  I love apocalyptic events.  This one takes you on a ride and it's a fun roller coaster.  Anyone trippin' on the "could that really happen" notion of movies, move along!  If you wanna just enjoy some man vs. nature adventure is in for some fun.  I love The Rock and although this is an action film, he hits a chord with being a dad.

Go for the ride... Let it take you!

Daily Daze - October 13, 2015

Thought of the Day
A quiz for 5 cents OR 5 for a quarter.  I realized that the fruit of life is knowledge and only when we consume it wholeheartedly can we truly replenish the mind.  Alright that's a bit grandiose and wax poetic... Here's the deal... If you can't challenge your friends or you can't challenge yourself, imagine how ill-prepared you will be when challenged by someone who couldn't care less about you.  To know is cool, but to act on the knowledge is divine.

There's something beautiful about how the mind works.  It's beautiful to look into someone's eyes while they think... Do their eyes glaze over or do they search in their head?  Do they furrow their brow or prefer the stone face?  Do they make sounds to make sense?  Do they use their hands to recollect?  It's a beautiful thing when someone realizes the trick or the treat of knowing.

The beauty of the puzzle is that the solution lies within.  The beauty of a problem is that there is a way to win.  The beauty of the human mind is the discipline it seeks.  The beauty of the thoughts are hiding in valleys and peaks.  The beauty of engaging in a task so specific... is the beauty of the dance that plays on the surface.  In the moments we think, in the moments we do, can we find the beautiful pattern of what we do... To break down a problem, look at all angles, in motion a thought slowly unfolding.  Do I like the quiz?  Or do I like the inquisition?  Do I like the answer or is it really the journey, the satisfying mission?

We may never know why we are here?  But in everything we do, there lies a quiz... A quiz of the moment, a quiz of a lifetime...



Quiz
1.  True or False - E pluribus unum
2.  Is it a deal?  a quiz for 5 cents or 5 for a quarter
3.  cub socs dc is an acronym to remember what?
4.  Does Mikey eat anything?
5.  Can you stare at the moon without seeing the man?

Recruiting Time - San Marcos

There's something awesome about being able to talk to students and help them on their path.  There is definitely something inspiring and rewarding in knowing how far you've come.  There's also something to be said for talking about the company you work for and the people you work with and realizing that we are and can make a difference.  Sometimes it is easy to forget the small things and the small blessings.
Thanks to the crew for an awesome time.  Thanks for the memories, the quizzes for a nickel, 5 for a quarter, the way you can apply modeling to everything you do, the students that give you hope for the next time around, the cart guy who hooked us up with the ride so we wouldn't have to be lugging around the banner he showed up to and fro, to the fun conversations, to the laughs... To a good afternoon lunch and to a complete day.

Daily Daze - October 12, 2015

Thought of the Day
It's never what you get, it's always in what you give.  It's too easy to be consumed by what you want.  Then you realize what you need.  I know the best me is a happy me.  I'm not always happy.  I'm human.  I get eaten up by negative thoughts and hopeless thoughts.  I pull away and I don't want to be part of the conversation.  I retreat into my mind, which in some cases can be a terrible thing.  Sometimes I don't want to put out the energy because it is all energy.  There really isn't any time to retreat and to pull back, but what's time when your mind isn't up for the challenge.  Who's time is it anyway?  There are moments when I pull, then there are revelations when I push.  I push through the self doubt and the devilish attitude toward living.  I push pass the head games and I wake up.  It's a rude awakening.  I start giving.

And tenfold I receive.  Letting go... and giving up... and giving in... that's where the beauty and blessings are... When you hold too tight... and squeeze the meaning of life out... You see nothing and all is dark.  Sometimes you just have to look up and realize... there's something beautiful in the insanity of the moment... Because that moment has to exist.  With that said... Photo of the Day... The FIT Post Meeting leftover drop off elevator shot.  #1  The mustard was strong and in my face... And #2 grateful that Court didn't have anything in her hands.

Last Impression
There are some basics in life.  1.  Avoid talking aloud to yourself when with friends.  It's already bad enough if you're wondering off in your mind, but to actually overlay another person's response while you are thinking aloud, is straight rude.  2.  It's rude to call people out - kinda sorta?  It depends.  Sometimes I can be blunt, but sometimes someone just needs to be called out!  In the moment it sucks, in the long run you hope you've learned.

Be REAL!  At least practice being real (but thoughtful) when dealing with your friends and family.

Sometimes you have to sing and dance

Sometimes there's no relief from your mind.  So you have to let your soul free, let your body move and let your song be sung.  Getting too wrapped up in your head and feeling your heart can only drive you crazy.  So I'm grateful I can let it go...

Daily Daze - October 11, 2015

Thought of the Day
When you're feeling down and out, just moving through the motions.  When you get a bit inebriated, you feel like you own the world.  When you are ok, the world tends not to be.  So what should we feel?  Normal is abnormal when the world has gone crazy.  Drinking away your pain is a temporary relief from a real world.  When you're sick, your body is asking you to stop living and existing.  The world, however, wants you to be yourself.  So when will it just be good ... Good... GOOD!

It's only GOOD when you don't feel... even if it is real...

It's only GOOD when you don't mind... even when your mind knows better

It's only GOOD when you let it go... and your critique no longer flows.

It's only GOOD when you stop drop and roll.

When you have to only take care of the bare necessities will you know what it means.

When you have everything and nothing can convene... In the whirlwind of thoughts...

In the blink of eyes... In the plays in the mind... It's crazy talk really.

When you focus is when you don't...

When you don't is when you do...

Whatever it is ... it is the opposite of true.

Walk into the sun... get burned or sequester. 

Walk into the cold... bundle up or be susceptible.

For it is not the cold that gets you sick... but your body's inability to react to the trick...

The cool on your skin... when you swelter in heat

The draw of the ocean...  for the sun we cannot defeat

Escape only to be trapped in another tale.

Escape only to find that the freedom is jail.

The opposite of everything is what we are...

For in our choice, we only wish upon a star.

As if the choice has any great meaning...

Or is it just a choose your adventure ... to a page empty ... it is leading?

Can't we laugh at the premise of this existence?

Can't we grow larger than this estranged living persistence?

We keep waking and forsaking all that life has to offer.

Only questioning our truth and always intolerant of our growth.

We can't be real.. but there is a struggle for sure

We can't be fake... for the others will forsake

We can't be playing .. when all other's are seriously contemplating.

We can't be serious when all the other's foolishly pontificating.

Trapped in this world.

Waiting for a story to unfurl.

A story that leads to an ending..
That i'm not privy to pretend..

For what is this life..
So filled with strife
That the moments of joy so fleeting
And my heart soul and body want to retreat from?


It's stupid.

Belmont Park Fun Night

Blast to the past!!!  Visiting old haunts with cool new friends.  Hitting up Sandbar with Drama, Court-es and Kenny Lee.  Then kicking it old school with bumper cars and the Dipper!  Fun times.

Daily Daze - October 10, 2015

Thought of the Day
Sometimes you just need to change one thing... Your attitude.  You don't have control over much of anything else.  Attitude comes from your soul aching to be set free.  Your soul knows you better than what your head sometimes tells you.  Your soul doesn't hear the whispers, doesn't see the actions, doesn't taste the bitterness of life.  Your soul feels... Your soul and your spirit gives you the energy.  That head though plays games... Your head likes to play with your heart.  Your head likes to feed your soul feelings manifested from allusions to what is real and illusions to what you seek.  My head spins out of control.  My head manages to trick my soul and my heart.  So to get out of my own head, I fight through workouts and I fight with gloves on.  To get out of my own head... I have to physically escape.  I have to blast that music to drown out the scenarios and the things that aren't necessarily real.  I have to feel physical pain because at that point your head needs to heal the body and focuses solely on that task.  That physical pain brings about relief from a head spinning out of control.

Don't get me wrong, I have an awesomely wonderful brain in that head.  I love that I can see and analyze what others take for granted.  I love that I can see a solution in a problem.  I love that I can make simple something that others see as complex.  I love that my head can do so many things.  I have above average talent in most anything I put that head to... My mind is super intriguing to me... My mind is what challenges me... but sometimes you just want to stop thinking and stop playing the scenarios out endlessly.

With all that body, mind and heart playing tricks on you, the soul has little room to be set free.  The soul has so much to fight through to be who that spirit holds.  I know that I have to get these things to coordinate just so I can let that soul be set to the sky.  The soul wants to thrive not just survive.  We just seem to get in the way of that relief.

So I let go of people, I let go of things and I let go of expectations the other day and my soul remembered how to fly.  I had to appreciate that small dose of energy.  That shift in attitude may only last for a small time, but I can only hope I keep remembering how I let my spirit free.  I think this helps... writing.  I think letting go every day of some thoughts may relieve my mind.  I think if I remember what my heart really longs for and my body gets a good dose of fight, I can see that spirit in my attitude.

The one thing I love most about my little brain... It's when I'm sitting by myself, I smirk and think it just might be ok.

Daily Daze - October 9, 2015

Thought of the Day
There are so many obstacles that lend themselves to tear a person down.  It isn't just the challenge of the obstacle.  It is the anxiety beforehand and the apprehension afterwards.  Inspirational words are so trite when enduring the obstacle.  No matter what you do, the words cannot penetrate the wall of negativity and defeatism.  What wins?  The obstacle or you?  I never believed in ultimatums because even an ultimatum is a choice disguised.  There are some obstacles that are so consuming and draining that the choice couldn't possibly exist.  Life is the ultimatum.  You either choose to live or you don't.  Going through the motions... that is a choice.  When you look at it, it is a living.  Maybe the motions are enough living to get you over that obstacle, don't you think? 

Amusement
People care, people don't care.  They all suck a little bit of life and light from your day.  As much as you want to glow a brilliant light, there are times when you have no energy and no warmth to bestow upon the world.  Change is a choice and in those choices, questions arise.  "That's different", "you're out of it" they say.  They have no idea what to do.  Change forces people to think and it scares them.  Some run away.  Some accept it.  Some try to understand.  It's all an amusement, this life.  There really isn't any point to ride a roller coaster of emotions, scary drops and nauseating twist and turns.  Life is an amusement park with nothing to offer but a passage of time.  Along the way you laugh, you may cry, and you may just get tired of all the rides.  Yet for some reason, we keep going back.  There is no meaning to life, it just is life.  We try so hard to project some grand gold star effort, check off lists of things to do and buckets to fill.  There are lessons to be learned and advice to be given, yet failure, pain, and negativity persists.  It is a wonderland.  I wonder what is the point of being happy, only to be left with an indelible memory.  I wonder what is the point to be hurt by someone you love only to be jaded in any future relationship.  I wonder what it is to learn the lessons well and poorly.  Humans are eternal screw ups. We fell from grace and somehow there is an amusement to trying to save face, but who are we trying to impress? 

God you must be hilarious.  Looking down on us as we spin out of control, regain some footing then fall apart again.  We can't get enlightened like the Dalai Lama... So what are we here for but for amusement.  I have to shake my head to that take... And wonder.  People look at kids with all of this hope masking all the fear.  We are freaked out to think they have to live this life and move through this world.  Some of us give them the tools to survive and we can only hope they thrive.  Even with all the tools and all the blessings, there is the imminent reality of time, causality, action and reaction, individual agenda, and  soul wrenching obstacles.

Sometimes I just want to step outside of the amusement park and walk away.