Who would have thought taking my pup out to potty, would land me in the ER?
The basic story goes like this... A simple single choice... I was walking Dakota late at night or more like early early morning. Since he has been sick, I try to give him as much time outdoors as possible. When I got back to go in, Montana was at the door. I had taken her out earlier at our more typical time, so she didn't need to go out again. And I thought I would just go to bed. Instead, that guilt led to that fateful decision. I took her to go potty. Who would have thought there was anyone out at 1 am in the morning? Let alone someone else walking their dog?
Well there was. Montana was getting fussy at the presence of the other dog and I had her on a retractable leash. Long finger to shorter... Montana lunged and the ring finger of my free hand got caught in a loop in the rope leash. The next thing I know was a sharp pain but I didn't expect the GUSH of blood. It was dark, but I knew this was bad. So I collected myself and Montana and led her back to the house. The blood trickled onto the path and in my confusion I left a few ounces on the entrance to the house. I got my wits about me, put Daki and Tana into their space, tried to call some folks, but at 1:30 am I wasn't getting anyone awake.
So I drove myself to ER. Fortunately Sharp Memorial ER is close to my house.
My crazy head saw the parking structure but I had to ask the attendant if they take credit cards. He said this is where you park for ER, and if you are admitted you wouldn't have to pay. So I parked and walked in...
The folks at the desks were cool as they asked "What can we do for you?... there's blood." I basically said yes that's me. And I went on to explain this retractable leash pinch of my finger. I have to say I realize I can stay pretty calm. I handle public pain with humor. I mean I don't get mean, I get giddy and goofy over the gruesome. So they put me in the ob/gyn room? Yeah, there's no way I would need to be in there, but that's where they put me. First thing they did was check my bones by taking XRays. Here's the best example of giddy goofy. When they asked me to hold my thumb and index finger than spread the rest of my fingers, the tech asked can you do that without pain?
And I said, "oh yeah I can still throw up the gang signs."
The nurse was a cool Filipino dude and he checks out my finger... And he says "oooh that's gonna hurt." I'm thinking "yay something to look forward to... " Later he mixes up this betadine concoction and says place your hand in there. I tried and tried... but each time I would breathe rapidly and heavily and say "Are you for real?" It was like that stuff was pouring down into my open wound, the wound where I could see a little bone! He pulls the bin away from me, wraps my finger then tells me to dip again.. Ah that's better I can do this.
Well I basically had a 2 hour wait for the hand specialist. In that time, they weren't gonna give me narcotics unless I confirmed a ride home. They were worried I would be driving out of there. So I went to my phone texting everyone I could think of and calling my parents to no avail... I even went on Facebook to see if anyone was online late. Fortunately, Tos was the first responder..
So I waited and almost fell asleep in that betadine solution. Before I knew it my hand doc came in, and 2 steps behind was Tos. Perfect timing. Tos was put to work. The doc asked her to get a tray. She just didn't know from where... hahaha
Well the doc was quick to assess my finger tip issue. I basically needed a skin graft to cover the big gaping hole in my finger. The choices? I could have 2 fingers grafted and attached or I could take it from my butt... I quickly responded..
"I'll take the BUTT!"
I really did respond quickly to that option, because I couldn't imagine my fingers stitched down to other parts of my hand. However, my quick response definitely won some laughter. Before I knew it they had me on my side, but I couldn't reach over to pull my pants down. That's when your best friend being by your side is the coolest thing in the world. Well not coolest thing, but ain't no shame. She helped pull my pants and my hippy cheek was exposed.
So what's up with the multi-prick attack of my booty... Prick 1, 2, 3, 4... I lost count. Numbing the area for the graft and I proceeded to watch as the scalpel broke the skin. Morbid curiosity... yes. Strangely I probably could have gone into medicine of some sort, but I don't like poop and vomit... Ugh... That's why I think the Norovirus problem a week ago was way worse than this ER visit.
Well... next was pricks to my finger and that long needle definitely left a bit more pain. That's when my Tos hooked up the high five hand hold with synchronized screeching... We had to explain to the nurse that we're kung fu ninja friends and our ninja-ness was gonna get us through this...
Everyone was sharing stories over the surgery... the other nurse didn't like nail problems, the doc was commenting on how some people don't want to think. It was cool. I watched him put my butt on my finger and stitch it up. Butterfinger... yes...
In the end... I survived that craziness. Thanks to Tos for keeping me company. Grateful to have a late night workaholic best friend. The stories and the pictures will be forever imprinted in my left ring finger tip.
